Insomnia

The two windows are open,
yet I see nothing through them
Slumber beckons me like an elusive whore
yet I turn her away.
Am i waiting for it to be late enough today
or the early daylight tomorrow.

I am wide awake
but awareness remains a stranger to me,
Are they conscious thoughts that enthrall
Or I must have dozed off and dreamed it all.
I can't be sure.

The streetlights serve a purpose to none at this hour,
standing alone, blinding bright, yet radiating gloom.
The sandman's done his work for the day,
the crickets sing no more,
Even the air seems to be in slumber,
The active zephyr long gone crept into a forlorn crevice.
Nocturnals have called it quits
but me, something still stays amiss.

Sandbags persuading my eyelids, seducing them into bliss
But a rebellion dwells, maybe powered by emotion.
What emotion it is, I am not quite sure
Though I know for sure what it is not.
Remorse and compunction do not fuel this riot,
nor is it loneliness, discord or retribution.

I thought time would slow down, or at least speed up.
It doesn't matter; I have lost track all the same.
A white solitude exists, thwarted only by discoloration.
I'm not blue,
Though I wonder why realization seems black.

Shards and Splinters

The pain has overwhelmed me,
Rusty nails screeching into my skull,
until the numbness has corroded the rust away.
Glass shards slithering into my skin,
until the callus has rendered them smithereens.
the pain has overwhelmed me,
until pain's become a part of me.

The six strings have lost my interest in them,
or is it music altogether.
Meaningless objects are now hypnotic,
as my gaze freezes without reason.
My mind's left my body
and eloped with the subconscious.

Togetherness has been denied,
The estrangement is a torture;
Spoken words are just spoken words now
and mean nothing more.
Rage doesn't dwell within,
Regret is denied lodging too.
The feeling is not difficult to describe.
It's just that the attempt is futile.


Rejuvenation began for me
When I cast out denial.
I'm no drunk with a bottle,
nor the emotional fool.
Teardrops haven't painted my canvas,
but the picture still remains.
The rust needs to be removed
and the shards picked up,
The splinters cannot be avoided
so all I can do is pick and remove
One by one.

Junkie

Been there done that,
got nothing to fear.. diddley squat
tried flying, done this ..and that,
smoked this, tapped that.

Fluid on grass, Grass over fluid
Flashing lites mean nothin',
The lager's overflowin'
i got no idea wher me's goin..

Smoke detectors're a stranger to me,
The bong's done, change the damn water,
can't find a match.. or the zippo
damn the stoner who lost 'er..

Gotta Speak up cant hear ya
the decibel's torn me drums raw
tearin me deaf, yet .. go louda louda louda!
when the music's dead, the bass lives on


rules aint gonna break me,
always been the other way round
just plug me in to my sound ..
the rest of ya conformists ..eat me!
I ain't no druggie, js a music junkie..

Standstill

Goin at 150 miles per hour..
Blown sum dust in the wind..
All of a sudden.. Life hit..
N I stopped..everything’s a standstill

Everythin’s movin, but me
I’ve got time to breathe,
Nothing else does..
Life’s passin me by ..
Seems like a horizontal hailstorm.

I wanna move
No it aint glue under my shoes
Nor the wind pushing me back.
I wanna believe otherwise,,
But its just me

The times aren’t too fast,
Nor am i too slow
I’m jus plain stuck
I ain’t movin at all
Yet feels like a sucking vortex from above
N quick sand from below

Ain’t no feeling
Weather’s weathered me
I’m still standing.
Not weaker.. yet.. not stronger.
Gimme sum morphine,
Maybe some white powder
Make it quiet.. or even louder..
The static’s blinding if u will
All a damn standstill..

Wannabe

Stop changin ur face,
Stop changing the skin u wear,
U ain’t blue,
So stop changing the color u got
Stop wanting to be.
Stop bein a wannabe

Smoke sum, Lighten er up,
Hav a drink, n turn the bass up,
Plug on the distortion, shake yer lid off,
Break a rule, knock ur socks off,
Don’t let ‘em tell ya what to do,

Drift some, wreck that car,
Lose the hood, its all good,
Rebellion is the cry,
It don’t matter,
Be who ya are,
Dont matter if they judge ya,

I am who I am
Don’t rush me,
Don’t suppress me,
I am not you,
Am me... not some wannabe

I don’t gotta ask ya what i gotta do,
I’ve got my guitar and joint
The pain’s mine, the pleasure is too,
Don’t need anyone else, so all u wannabes..
screw you!

Voyage to nowhere

wrote these lyrics on the bus.. kinda reflects the apparently destination-less journey i find myself on..

Bus stops passin by,
Snow drifts sit there numb,
Snow to ice, ice to fluid,
That’s all that changes, everthin else... dumb.

From Bexleyheath to Blue Water,
Into the gorge took a long glance,
Thought time’d pass faster.
Naah.. not a fuckin chance.

A yob climbs up, an old hog steps down,
Tears from the concrete are now just an icicle,
All I see clearly are sheets of snow,
The mighty buses are not just a dusty speckle.

Jigsaw

Moments knit together make ‘er up,
All’s a complicated web..
But none of the pieces fall into place
Life happens .. it sux..
the guidelines quote
‘Not suitable for adults’

They’re all just pieces
And parts make a whole
But what r u aiming for?
The final picture’s unknown, unclear,
No fuckin idea where to steer.

Started from the corners
And worked into the centre
But you’re more lost than ever
Scrambled them all up
Get outta my head,
Shut up shut up shut up!